the art of the free auto-rickshaw ride

Above picture: Someone not getting a free ride

It took me awhile to figure out how to do this but it works like a charm. If you remember an earlier posting "july 20: dark secreys revealed, vol. 1" I explained how the fine goods emporium (glorified souvenir shop) below my room operates a backdoor money-making scheme in cooperation with local auto-rickshaw and taxi drivers.

The basic idea of the scheme: If an auto-rickshaw driver brings a tourist or foreign businessperson to the souvenir shop than he can go to the back of the shop while the tourist/businessperson is shopping and collect a Rs 50 payment.

The auto-rickshaw drivers love the scheme and if you let them they will drive you to like 10 different souvenir shops.

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So, here's how to get a free auto-rickshaw ride in Bangalore in 10 easy steps:

1. You need to look like a tourist or foreign businessperson. It's the only way it works. Thankfully, I really look like a tourist.

2. Live near a commercial part of the city (which I do). This is where the auto-rickshaw drivers pick up their "easy money".

3. Know which streets have well-known souvenir shops. This is extremely important because you want the auto-rickshaw driver to take you to a souvenir shop that is near where you actually want to go.

4. Walk up to a line of auto-rickshaws in the commercial part of the city and wait for an auto-rickshaw driver to accost you and ask you where you want to go.

5. Tell the auto-rickshaw driver that you want to go to "x" souvenir shop. Make sure that "x" souvenir shop is near where you actually want to go. This is extremely important.

6. Wait for the auto-rickshaw driver's eyes to light up and tell you that the ride is free. He tells you that the ride will be for free because he knows he will be getting paid at the other end. Also, because after the first stop he will want to take you to at least 10 more shops.

7. Act surprised by the auto-rickshaw driver's generosity and re-state that you want to go to "x" souvenir shop because you want to buy something there. It is very crucial that he understands that you are going to buy something at "x" souvenir shop because it guarantees that you will get to where you actually want to go. The reason that telling him this guarantees that you will go where you want to go is that he also get a 10% commission on whatever you buy at the shop. So, if you don't tell him that you are going to buy something at "x" souvenir shop he will most likely take you to some other souvenir shop instead.

8. On arriving at "x" souvenir shop, the driver will tell you that he will wait for you and give you another free ride to wherever you want to go. Note: As long as it's another shop.

9. Casually, enter and exit the souvenir shop. Be nice and allow the driver enough time to finalize his backdoor payment.

10. After exiting the shop explain to the auto-rickshaw driver that you will no longer be needing his services. Be prepared for some hassling, as he will definitely want to keep the good times rolling.

Lesson of the day: It pays to live upstairs from a souvenir shop's sleazy backdoor-payment operation.